Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't think brook has ever known best
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
