All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
