...so i touched it.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize