I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
