guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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