grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
They have beer where we have blood.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
