So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
