none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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