its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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