Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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