we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
