her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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