69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
