Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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