I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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