I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
