hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
