I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
