ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
