I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
