I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
