i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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