so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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