had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I love you.
Bad choice
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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