That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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