i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize