ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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