Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize