And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
