So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
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