I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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