Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
