We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
