I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
