Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(979): View more from Texas

Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy

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(503): View more from Oregon

two words: eviction party

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(219): View more from Indiana

Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I think this baby is eyeing my beer

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt

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(541): View more from Oregon

Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling

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(613): View more from Ontario

sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name

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