but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
