We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
