Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
