it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
