I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
