I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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