Only a mothe r could love this liver
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
