So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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