i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My balls are so social today.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
