I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
