And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
