tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
