But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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