It's Friday. Sex?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
