Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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