Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I understand Curling. That high.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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