You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
