he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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