i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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