His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just found puke in my bra..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
