where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
