Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
