Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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