Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
