so explain again why im purple
no
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
