haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
