She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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