NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
