We're facebook friends in real life
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize