first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
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