nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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