My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I deserve this hangover.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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