6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
